Why would anyone want to GIVE UP orgasms?!

Imagine that sweet feeling of anticipation before you’re headed out on vacation, or when you’re waiting in line for your favorite food. That tension of wanting the good stuff to hurry up and happen all the while daydreaming about how it is going to feel when it finally does. 

Now pair that feeling with orgasms. 

Do you start to see how it can hold *some* appeal?

Imagine that that sense of tension, that longing, is actually the best part for some people. In fact, scientists have discovered that anticipation can actually be better than the real thing.


I can just hear some of you gasping now. WHY?! HOW? WHO actually feels that the anticipation of an orgasm is actually better than an orgasm?! Well, as it turns out, plenty of people feel that way!

For someone who’s not familiar with chastity or orgasm control play, it may seem like denial is the only approach. You may have visions of expensive cock cages as a necessity or requirement. But that’s just the beginning. 

Yes, you can focus entirely on denial. You can get a wall calendar or set up a digital calendar daily reminder so you can each see how many days of orgasms have been sacrificed. You can highlight the inability to orgasm, and the absolute control that the dominant holds over the submissive’s every intimate allowance (or lack thereof). 

But that’s exactly why I put chastity and orgasm control under the same umbrella. Chastity and denial are part of orgasm control play. It’s one dish on the buffet. One you might want to try giving a little taste.

One way you can explore denial is by starting with delay. Edging is a fun activity that can be a great addition to other kinky sessions. If orgasm is usually part of your kink adventures, then let yourself (or your partner) get right up to the edge of orgasm, and then stop. Then do it again, get yourself (or your partner) so close to cumming but then halt the pleasure right before it peaks. A few rounds of that will inspire some pretty enthusiastic begging, if you’re into that sort of thing (ahem, which I most definitely am).

I’m also a fan of scheduling a certain number of orgasms or certain timing of orgasms. Doling out three cums per week (or month if you’re feeling feisty) is a sexy way to ration pleasure in order to heighten that pleasure when it is allowed. This is another time when those digital calendar reminders can come in handy.

And remember, if you’re in a lifestyle relationship, just because one of you is in chastity or in denial, that doesn’t mean both of you have to miss out! There are lots of ways to keep one partner pleasured while the other enjoys enforced abstinence.

Whether you’re interested in orgasm management for short- or long-term time frames or whether you’re a lifestyle or professional player, I’ll share inspiring ways to play with this most intimate form of control.